it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
