He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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