After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
