whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
the condom got lost in my hair
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
