Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Randomize
