He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
