Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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