I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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