who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
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