He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
