I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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