it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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