Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
where are my eyebrows?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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