Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Don't tell me you're on acid again
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
