Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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