He asked to "fluff my boner.."
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
