We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
