i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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