i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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