if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
