last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
