This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
