Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I just sucked dick on a ferry
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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