Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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