At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
she woke up with a sticky ear
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
