Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
