I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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