Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
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