whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
