Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
