Porn is love you can see.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
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