Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
