don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
