Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
