Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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