He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Life is so much better after having sex.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
