Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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