if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
