two words: eviction party
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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