I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
