Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
