Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
