NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
