Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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