i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
