im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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