you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
