So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
