Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
