I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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