I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
