btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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