If i come over, it means nothing
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
