Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
