we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I just blew my weed a kiss
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize
