HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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