Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
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