To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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