just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
