If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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